


storm, hint of you

by kenmoomoo



Series: kuroken drabbles [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Asexual Kozume Kenma, Fluff, Kozume Kenma-centric, M/M, Pining Kozume Kenma, as he should, established Kagehina, i miss playing little big planet sm, kenhina (as friends), kenma has his psp this time woo, mentioned kags, shouyou fawns over him a lot, shouyou goes by he/they :), shouyou is v prominent here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28258362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenmoomoo/pseuds/kenmoomoo
Summary: kenma is uncomfortable with how hot his face feels and he’s still waiting for the last line that kuroo always gets, either closing off their banter lightheartedly or giving one final snide remark.and his voice comes through, then, so quiet that kenma barely hears him.“kenma, i love you.”
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Series: kuroken drabbles [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2041936
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	storm, hint of you

♡

  
  


cold has set into the city of tokyo, a sign of the years’ end drawing near. most people have turned in their hoodies or lightly layered outfits for padded coats by now, huddling closer on the pavements as they walk about.

kenma has thought this as akin to the flame in his belly flickering ever-so-softly, one which wavers and bends from the frost of anxious, icy trepidation blowing in its direction. he tends to play out scenarios and dialogue like a visual novel in his head mapping out all possible outcomes. like bundling up to preserve warmth in the inevitable approach winter, kenma has tried to shelter himself, suppressing some feelings he’d rather not address.

he knows, as the snow closes in and draws the clouds in tighter, that if he makes the slightest move towards one of these outcomes, a snowstorm would come barrelling in. he doesn’t know if he might able to withstand it.

a chill scratches at the back of kenma’s neck, his lack of scarf and thin polyester team jacket not doing much to insulate heat. if he focuses less on the numbness of his fingers and more on getting through a level of _little big planet’s_ story mode on his psp, it helps to ease his mind.

_slurp._

_slurp. slurp. sluuurp._

_sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp._

this, not so much.

“shouyou.” says kenma softly. said boy coughs, squeaking out a ‘huh?’ kenma points at the little box they’re holding.

“oh,” shouyou gives a sheepish smile. embarrassment dusting their cheeks pink, he sets the box of drinking yoghurt aside and picks up their plastic-wrapped egg sandwich.

kenma remembers his own cold sando, the light weight of it sitting in his jacket pocket. his is one with cream and strawberries, since he prefers it to the other konbini choices. he takes it out but doesn’t unwrap it, setting it on out on the park bench.

shouyou notices. “you’re not going to eat?”

cold food doesn’t taste as good in matching weather. well - honestly, he could’ve just gotten something hot. frankly, he only bought anything because shouyou would’ve tried to spend their own money on him otherwise.

kenma hums, jumping up onto rectangular cushions leading to a hill. his sackperson’s costume is an ugly recreation of silver the hedgehog that kuroo made for him last year. kenma hates it, but regardless hasn’t brought himself to delete it or make another one.

“kuro gave me some of his tuna mayo rice earlier,” he offers. it’s true.

shouyou wrinkles their nose. “‘earlier’?”

“eleven.”

“kenma, it’s” - he checks his phone - “half past four. no good.” their tone sounds entirely disapproving. “how about if i feed it to you?”

“you want to feed me.” kenma stares hard at them. shouyou sputters, the blush deepening as they pout.

“a kohai can care for their senpai, too.” they flick a strand of hair from the corner of their eye.

“that’s okay, i’ll have it later.” kenma rolls a donkey-shaped cart down the hill, its unnerving eyes blinking at him, and his sackperson gets stuck in the space between it and a wall, squishing their ugly little body. he sighs, putting his psp and sandwich in his pocket and shivers. “‘s getting cold out.”

“oh! yeah,” says shouyou through a mouthful of egg, “shouldn’t they be here by now?”

_‘they’,_ referring to kuroo, tsukishima and yamaguchi. shouyou would’ve invited kageyama too, (the two of them are dating, after all) but the last time they tried to make him tag along, kageyama promptly elbowed shouyou in the nose and made them cry. he’d apologised of course. still, shouyou would really rather not awaken the tsun side of his boyfriend.

that being said, the outing wasn’t meant to be anything special anyway - just all of them going to shibuya crossing. and kageyama, from what shouyou’s said, handles cold pretty well. the only explanation is that he’s either too shy to be out with shouyou today, or he doesn’t have the energy to be around tsukishima. the latter, most likely.

“dunno.” kenma shoots kuroo a quick text asking where they are. the response is _tsukishima fell asleep._ his phone buzzes again. _correction: his brother says he’s ditching us._ kenma relays this information to shouyou.

shouyou huffs, finishing off their sandwich and putting the plastic wrap in their bag to throw away later. they stand and stretch out their legs. “stupid tsukishima. me and yamaguchi wanted to go get oden, and - and kageyama-kun could’ve joined us, too!”

they kick at the hardened soil on the side of the walkway, dirtying up the front of their shoes in frustration. kenma thinks about when he and kuroo had shared oden together last year and kuroo had blown off the steam just right for him and fed him and kenma hadn’t pushed him away. he’d forgotten about that. he flexes his fingers in his pockets, following shouyou as they go off towards kenma’s house.

  
  


—♡—

  
  


a few hours later, when outing plans anytime soon for kenma have been mentally cancelled so he can sulk in his room in revulsion for merely thinking of leaving his house, shouyou suddenly flips a conversation of kenma dying his hair red to one of talking about kenma’s feelings. yuck.

“...we’re close,” somehow the usual monotone of his voice is unnatural.

“that’s all? c’mon, c’mon!” shouyou kneads his hands over kenma’s bedspread like a puppy, nails scraping the fabric as they roll their palms over it. kenma slightly regrets telling him about his internal kuroo discourse. “tell me everything. you’re not shy, are you, kenma~?”

kenma frowns. “i’m not shy.”

“so tell me! how are your feelings toward kuroo-san?”

_how do i feel?_ “they’re normal.”

shouyou narrows their eyes. “you didn’t even try to think about that.”

“that’s how it is.” kenma scrolls through his reddit. “what about you and kageyama?”

“kageyama-kun?” shouyou goes quiet, and if it weren’t for kenma looking up and being able to read him so well, he might think they were sad. they smile with twinkling eyes.

“kageyama-kun, he’s...special. i know he’s proud of me growing into myself, and i’m proud of him too - but i don’t know if he knows i got a lot of the courage to be able to do it from him. and i wouldn’t have played volleyball the same way if i never got to meet him and play on the same side of the court with him, but that’s not all it is. it’s...” he looks off fondly, something pure and genuine glossing over their eyes. “it’s like, _kwahhh_ whenever i see him. whenever i think about him. my heart just feels at ease, and i always wanna be near him, even when he’s scary or starts nagging me...”

if kenma thinks about kuroo generally, he doesn’t really feel one way or the other. kuroo is just...kuroo. sometimes the thoughts might shift into unwanted territory, he’s aware of that, but kenma is just someone who overthinks; even kuroo toys with this side of him. just like he toys with everyone from time to time.

in august, when kuroo had slept over and for a second, the usual mannerisms between them had become something unfamiliar - this, he can’t figure out. why his lips ached for kuroo’s, why his hands itched to carve whole galaxies into his skin, why he longed to feel kuroo hold him - it was different. but is it different in the same way shouyou feels about kageyama? when kenma talks to kuroo, do his eyes light up like shouyou’s do?

“...but because he’s a little dumb. it makes me happy that i’m not the only one saying stupid stuff - oh, he would’ve hit me for saying that. ack - i’m rambling!” shouyou giggles - a cute, lighthearted sound. “anyway, is it anything like that?”

kenma gets whiplash from how fast shouyou’s energy can shift from vulnerable and soft to wide eyes and big, dopey grins. kenma’s brows knit together. “shouyou, i -”

a 100 gecs song suddenly cuts through his speech, alerting that someone is calling him. kuroo’s caller id flashes across the screen. he reaches to turn the ringer off.

“wait, wait!” exclaims shouyou before clamping a hand over their mouth. he whisper-yells, “pick it up!”

kenma falters but ultimately he relents, and at shouyou’s request puts the call on speaker. the tone stops and shuffling comes through from the other side.

_“kenma.”_

he stares and waits. kuroo knows how kenma hates phone calls, so a call like this can’t be for many different reasons.

_“...do - d’you na luh - love me anymore?”_ _there it is._ kuroo’s choky fake-crying sounds like odd cartoon laughter.

kenma sighs and shouyou badly stifles their giggle. “kuro, you’re so dramatic.”

_“are you alone with chibi-chan? you’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?”_

kenma hates how he can feel his face burning red. “...i’m going to hang up on you.”

_“wait, wait.”_

“byeeeee.”

_“kenma-kun, my lo -”_

_absolutely not._ “i hate you.”

_“you do not.”_

“i do.”

_“you don’t.”_

“i do.” there’s a pause that drags on for a solid ten seconds. the bed has dipped slightly next to kenma; shouyou’s leant over and is shaking so hard from holding in his amusement. and then they just guffaw, letting out a loud, ringing laughter.

kenma is uncomfortable with how hot his face feels and he’s still waiting for the last line that kuroo always gets, either closing off their banter lightheartedly or giving one final snide remark.

and his voice comes through, then, so quiet that kenma barely hears him.

_“kenma, i love you.”_

it's that same soft tone he uses once he's done something mean, or when kenma's having a particularly bad day. kenma imagines the almost characteristic sneer on his features smoothed over, replaced with something more adoring and careful. the side kenma doesn’t see very often, hidden beneath his cool and confident exterior. the side that still baffles him at times, even though he’s known kuroo since they were kids. _the side that i -_

kenma hangs up.

shouyou is still laughing, though weaker now, and wiping their tears. they couldn’t have heard what kuroo said, but even so, kenma feels worse than embarrassed - in a way he can’t even begin to describe. he feels sick.

  
  


—♡—

  
  


kenma walks shouyou to the train station two days later. his phone weighs heavily in his pocket. he’s barely used it since his conversation with kuroo, knowing those three unanswered messages will stare back at him each time he opens it.

_kenmaaaaaaaaa_

_you hung up on accident, right_

_right??_

the last of the three was sent past midnight. had he been thinking about it too? did he even mean to say it? the questions hang over kenma’s head like a low ceiling, allowing him to pass through but reminding him of its presence with each step he takes.

“alright, i’m off!” hiking their bag up higher on their shoulders, shouyou straightens up and faces kenma. he gives a big smile, one that has their whole face light up. there are amber gold tints in their irises where the sun hits. swaddled in a scarf that partially covers their face, they appear even smaller than they already are. kenma manages a slight upturn of his lips in return plus a small wave.

shouyou opens their mouth to say something but hesitates. kenma stares. and then they jump at him, wrapping their arms around him in a hug and they’re always so considerate of kenma’s space that the out-of-nowhere skinship shocks him. kenma’s fingers twitch.

he pulls back. gives that sheepish smile again. “i’m sorry - i should’ve told you i wanted to hug you first, huh?”

kenma blinks, shaking his head. “it’s okay, shouyou.”

“ah, well -” shouyou motions to behind him, and kenma nods. “i’ll text you when i get home.”

“take care.”

with a salute and a rabbit-like hop, shouyou bounds off, and kenma watches until their ginger head of hair disappears in the crowd of people before he heads back home himself.

kenma takes off his shoes at the door, pushing them next to his parents’ pairs and hopping down the little half-step. his mother peeks out from the kitchen, telling him that kuroo’s been by and left something for him. _weird._ he didn’t stay? that’s unlike him. though, the possibility that it’s due to what happened two days ago is high.

the something in question is a page torn from a mini writing pad with calico cats dancing on the margins. the paper was from kuroo’s birthday, a gift from lev in appreciation of his captain.

_i know i could’ve waited for you to text back, or just come in like i always do, but i thought you needed space. i wanna talk with you about it, so please don’t push me away. whenever you’re ready i’ll be right beside you. (that was a sort of a joke. because we’re neighbours. don’t make that face, i know you’re doing it.)_

kenma drops his grimace and simply glares.

_also i let your mum give me the last of your apple candies. it wasn’t my fault, so don’t be mad, okay kenma-kun~?_

kenma wrinkles his nose at that, staring back at kuroo’s doctor-like scrawl. of course he did - probably payback for when kenma had given kuroo a whole bag of mint chocolates purely to spite him. he’s about to push it away and turn on his psp or switch when he sees something else in the bottom left corner, tiny and squished together in the same eye-straining handwriting.

_i’m sorry if i scared you._

_...i meant it, though._

kenma absently chews on the edge of his psp, eyes tracing the words over and over. barely registers the tears gathering gradually yet surely. like storm clouds. _i meant it, though_ _._

his heart swells in his chest and it aches.

  
  


♡

**Author's Note:**

> woo! i wanted to try to bring out more of kenmas feelings in this...and what better way than to bring in shou~✩ kidding kidding - but i loved writing shouyou hehe♡
> 
> the next part will be the last part in this little drabble series, so i hope i can bring everything together and its even a little fun to read (｡･･｡)


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